Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why would an older small breed dog become obsessive about hygiene?

I can count

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What is the rudest/meanest thing a family member has said to you?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Has anyone experienced an out of the body experience, as a child, years before you had ever heard the term or understood the implications?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I am 13 and I am planning to run away. What should I do to succeed?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

How does a single-payer healthcare system handle costs for surgeries, and what's the patient experience like compared to private insurance?

I don’t buy bullshit

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand how hurricane paths work

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fakery

What are some alternatives to wearing a bra? Why do some women feel pressure to wear bras even though there may not be any benefits?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is

What is the hidden meaning behind 'Skibidi Ohio', and why is it trending?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What is the best way to get my wife to become a hotwife?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Who was the guy that had sex with the AIDS monkey?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why are leftist movements so popular among young people?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What was it like being spanked as a kid?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can read

I see through liars

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday